Uncertainfuture

http://tryingtoheal.com/

So i actually have a poem in the works for this one..thought of it while i was eating lunch in the park. Been a long week, so i decided to go sit in Aldrich park and have some lunch in the sun. So i relaxed for like some 30 minutes by myself and just enjoyed the scenery. Thats when i saw it. I had been staring at a tree in the distance for a little while, just admiring its beauty and how quite it seemed. It was then i saw a leaf fall from the tip top of its branches. I watched it float slowly all the way to the ground. I realized that i was probably the only person in the whole world who saw it. Not a significant event per-say to some, but to me the end of the circle of its life and the beginning of another. I had just sat there and watched some of the world go by. Thats when i realized that it is not often i get to see the world go by, but rather the world watches me. Constantly ignoring it and living my own life, never really stopping to admire the beauty around me. So as i sat and watched the world go by i realized that its about the moments in life that matter the most. I often watch the lives of others go by, its those experiences we miss out on that are important. What have i missed in the last year while i sit around at UCI…watching others worlds pass right by? I feel like sometimes i am waiting too much as i watch opportunities and people pass me by. Too patient as i wait for things that may never be. So i finished my lunch, looked one last time and walked to go do hmwk as i stopped watching and start traveling in the world that moves on by.

….Vacation

So in the last 3 days i have had two Craig Days. (gotta love them) Friday everyone in the apartment was out. So at around 7pm i got my head phones on and decided to walk down to Target. Got there and just went up and down the aisles looking at everything under the sun. Went to game stop and just chilled. Got a call from my brother to meet him at the Dollar theatre, so i decided to walk there as well. But to myself i thought it was on Alton, so i ended up walking from culver to jeffrey, before realizing i was on the wrong street and off course. haha. **made it to the theatre with 5 minutes to spare :) And today…well its kinda a craig/eric day but we have done the following: wake up late, eat, watch moves, play games, get fat. :) My kinda day.

I often wonder the choices i make are the ones i should be living. I wonder if i should stop what im doing and change course…will it get better? Will i be happier? I sometimes just want someone to make the choices for me so i can say…”it wasn’t my fault it turned out this way.”